Enjoying not working

Not working is really working out for me, although I do know that it is going to end. Right now its been great. Ive gotten to go spend a few hours with my mom and Sara Hunsucker. I went to lunch and shopping at White House Black Market with JoJo. Ive had a family dinner at JoJo's. I got to go to two Shatterstone shows in three weeks, which means more quality time with my friends. (I even got to drink last night since I rode with Jeremy) I had dinner with Pat this past week and I got to go see him at R Place the Friday before Father's Day. I also got to spend a long day with my brothers, niece and dad on Father's Day. And I have two days planned with my Indiana friends, a lunch date with Leslie in July and a dinner date with Elizabeth (aka Eugene) on July 1st or 2nd, whichever ends up being more convenient. Its awesome. Normally it could take me months to get to do so much with the people in my life but I have gotten all these things done in less than a month!
School is going well. I got like 5 check-offs this week. Things are coming along and falling together. I am feeling good about it all. I only have one week left of summer semester for me because of our trip to St. Louis, which as it gets closer I am getting more and more excited about. We have some awesome free seats for two of the three days and I have already got us a nice hotel room only 4 blocks from the stadium!

Anxiety

So, this past week I started having some serious anxiety problems. I went to the doctor and they gave me some meds and after taking it a couple of times, it had the opposite effect and completely intensified my problem. I ended up having to leave clinic in the middle of the morning because I was starting to have a panic attack for no reason at all. I was very frustrated and embarrassed. My teacher said that I do not have to make up the day, his sister had an anxiety problem for a while and he gets it, which is relieving. I stopped taking the meds and they gave me a different class, its a mood stabilizer but I am scared to take that now. I am hoping that I can shake this on my own. I dont like being drugged and feeling like I am on drugs its horrible. But this uncontrolled anxiety feeling is really not much better. I had an incident at work and I walked out and quit. JoJo said its ok and I am glad. Its a huge relief. I think that it may make a big difference in my stress level. I went and talked to Cheri Beri today for like 5 hours about my life in general and all the things bothering me as well as just some regular everyday things. It was good and I think it will help me to get it all out in the long run. I am working on towards getting better one day at a time. Chase has been very understanding and loving through my extra craziness. I dont know what Id do without him.

First Week Back

This week was successful in a school sense. Also it went a lot faster than I had expected it to. I got 7 check-offs this week! Two on Tuesday and Thursday and three on Wednesday. I am very happy to be off to such a positive and fast start. Its a good sign for the next couple weeks to come. I hope every day goes as fast as they did this week. I was worried that the days would drag on due to the extra couple of hours I had to be there, but luckily that was not the case. I am not sure if the fact I was down in the ER all week a factor, but it might have helped because it does stay busy down there and you get a variety of procedures in a day. I hate routines because all you do all day is stretcher chests which drives me crazy. It gets old after the first two and thats the only thing you really do all day long.
Chase was gone for a few says last week Sunday-Tuesday so on Wednesday we went to Buca di Beppo for dinner and to see "The Hangover 2". It was a nice evening. The food was very good, we had never eaten there together and I'd only been there once before. We talked about how his cousin is selling his 69 Camaro and he was trying to talk me into him buying it, but among other things he doesnt even know how much his cousin really wants for it. Plus I do not see how getting a car helps us do any of the other things we are trying to accomplish right now. He wasnt extremely happy about it, but I told him to at least find out what he really wants for the car before he already has it in his head he can get it. The movie was very funny. It wasnt drop dead hilarious as the first but it wasnt a flop. The movie just wasnt AS funny as the first one, but then again it would be hard to top that, and its definitely worth seeing it.
I am having a problem this week. I have been waking up at 4am and feeling anxious. The feeling I think is what is waking me up and once I am awake I cannot go back to sleep. I just lay there for two hours until its time to get up for clinic. It goes away once I am busy at the hospital but it comes back on the ride home. Yesterday it was extremely bad. I could not even bring myself to go to work. The thought made me want to burst into tears for no reason. I am trying to get into the doctor next week to do something about it. Really I just want to be able to sleep through the night.