Update

So, I havent been on here lately, almost too much has been happening. The short story, is I have cut myself off from the boy I am in love with and have been waiting for now for 10 months. I cannot wait for him anymore because I am starting to believe I was waiting for nothing the entire time. But this isnt easy, I have to work with him and his ENTIRE family, needless to say I may not be there too much longer if things dont get any better. I am tired of him just acting like we are friends and thats all its ever been it just infuriates me. I suppose its his indifference to the situation that upsets me, but really he has been nothing but indifference forever now so again this is just something to get over. I just wish I could get over him altogether.
Then my mom who is sick, she has CLL, which is a complicated type of leukemia. And she had to have surgery to fix her bladder that got messed up when she had her hysterectomy. This took place on Thursday, a surgery that was supposed to take 2 and a half hours, ended up taking 6 and a half hours. The doctor did a horrible job of telling us what was going on and why it was taking so long. Then after the surgery not only did we have to wait in this little room to talk to the doctor, but when she showed up she was defensive and making excuses. I was just furious with the entire thing. But it doesnt end there, ever since the surgery my mom has been stuck in the hospital because her o2 levels in her blood are dangerously low. They kept asking if she was a smoker or had emphasema or COPD, which obviuosly is not the case. I am just worn out I had three days off and spent 90% of the time in the hospital. But at least now my mom is ok and going home, well to JoJo's where she needs to stay for at least a week in my opinion.
There are also some shitty things going on with me and my health, but I dont feel like going into any detail until I get some answers myself.
School starts tomorrow, part of me wants my classes to get out early and not have to do anything, but the other part of me wants to jump in and get going, plus if I dont really have class tomorrow then I will have WAY too much down time in between my classes. But if thats the case I have a friend I want to try to surprise.....
We will see how tomrrow goes, another day, and slightly closer to moving on...

Laziness

I suppose it is not all just laziness, but a lack of things to say. I have things to say, but sometimes I just cannot bring myself to put them down. I am doing very well in my summer english class. Seems like I might be doing the best of everyone from what my teacher says, and my grades prove. It makes me feel good in some ways, it proves I can write at least halfway decent, but that means I should write more. I have been thinking about writing down all the things I did and lived through from when I was 15 to more recently, and a few stories from my childhood. But I cannot do it because I cannot remember things in the right order long enough to articulate it with some decent diction. I have a crappy memory, its not that I do not remember the events I just get so caught up one little part and I forget the next. Or its that I am remember the event so rapidly but I cannot write as quick as I think and the wonderful wording in my head is lost before I can get it on the paper. These things are frustrating me and my ideas of writing. Back to laziness, I think I might take a nap....

Watch out world, now I have a myspace, a facebook, and this blog, I am overloaded on internet society. Find me!

Clumsy

So, tonight I mis-stepped, again, and hurt my ankle, again. A month or so ago, I twisted my left ankle inside and popped my lateral malleolus. Well, tonight I did the same thing, except this time it hurt SO much worse. I almost cried. Chase made me keep ice on it until it went numb then it wasn't so bad, so I was greatful he was there to make me keep the ice on it because at first the ice made it hurt really bad too and I was being stubborn and not holding the ice on it. This time it swelled right away, last time it almost didnt swell at all until the next day. So, let' s all keep our fingers crossed my ankle isnt all fucked up this time.....

Short Story

So, my last paper in my summer class will be either comparing my life to a short story, or writing a short story. When I was a kid I used to write all kinds of books, but they were silly little kid books, the point is I always wanted to be a writer. Then one day I realized it was a lot harder than it seemed and I just sorta gave up on the idea of ever being a good enough writer to write a story people would want to read. Well, I have figured out there is a way I can write a good story, my life experience. My teacher has made us study the connection between these short stories and the life of the author. It has become very obvious that the stories are very much in reflection of the authors life. As many of my friends know, I have been through and lived through some interesting shit. Now I am just trying to decide what story to write. (Dont worry I will be changing names and small details) I have a few good ideas of what to write about.... I am just interested to see if it works out. I might break a dam and put my entire life into short stories. Definitely cant publish that until the parents are passed.....

First Day of Summer School

If you notice my little description of myself is just that, little. Today, as my homework, in addition to reading A LOT about reading and writing about short stories, I had to write a "letter of introduction". I am not good at this, and what I did write made me feel very uninteresting and behind. I mean, I am doing good things, going to school, working a lot, taking care of the house, but I just expected more from myself. I SHOULD have finished school already and I should NOT have let a few people take me down in the past. But now I have to get over that and keep going until I catch up with myself....

Currently...

This site is under construction. Hopefully, Ill figure it out soon...